There are two separate but related, and equally important, practices that have helped me through my grief journey. At the beginning of loss, you are simply trying to survive. You struggle to keep your head above water and try not to drown. But eventually you will have to learn how to live again. These two […]
Once upon a time, there lived a young woman who lived an ordinary life. She was married to a man whom she loved with all of her heart. Her husband was ill and in need of a new kidney so she gave him one of hers, and he became healthy again, and so he gave […]
To the ones who held space for me and supported me in the midst of my grief: You appreciate my patience and understanding, and my willingness to be flexible. But it was you who taught me how to support you in these ways. And every opportunity that I get to support you, I am grateful […]
This weekend we were supposed to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. We should have hired the babysitter and gone out to dinner, played mini golf, exchanged corny anniversary cards, then gone back home after the little one was down and celebrated on our own. We should have done that, but we didn’t because my husband […]
My husband and I had shared many plans, many dreams… we had so many things we looked forward to doing in our future together. But the future is not set in stone. And that future is something you can plan and hope and want, but it is never guaranteed. Our future together came to a […]
I know you are out there but no one seems to be reaching out to you. Left out in the cold as everyone huddles around the wives who have lost their husbands… but what about the husbands who had to say goodbye to their wives? You are men and so the world expects you to […]
As I lay here tonight on my lonely bed, I can’t help but think about where I am now. The holidays have come and gone and the new year has begun, but where am I? It’s a brand new year, another of many that my husband, Matt, will never see, and I wish I could muster […]
Self Awareness and the acceptance that bad things happen – and that’s OK. Ever since I can remember, I have taken it upon myself to always be the happy one. Always happy, always cheerful, always bright and bubbly. This has been a role that, for whatever reason, I had taken upon myself and then lived […]
This year, I resolve to prioritize the fucks that I give. I will give fewer fucks about the things that don’t matter so that I can give a fuck about the things that do.
Christmas used to be my favorite holiday. I loved the music, I loved the lights and decorations, and I loved what Christmas represented to me. The holidays were all about family and being with the ones you love. Now, the holidays are still about being with the ones you love… and this is why they […]
A letter to my husband on the day I moved out of the home we shared together and into a house that he will never come home to.