I know you are out there but no one seems to be reaching out to you. Left out in the cold as everyone huddles around the wives who have lost their husbands… but what about the husbands who had to say goodbye to their wives? You are men and so the world expects you to suck it up and keep moving, keep working, work through the pain. Few see you cry and when they do you quickly pull yourself back together because that’s what you expect of yourself. But the truth is, your heart is no less broken and you hurt no less than a widow. But you are passed by more quickly. Your pain is dismissed more quickly… and in many ways that makes the pain sink that much deeper and the loneliness hurt that much more.
For all the men who have lost the love of their lives, I see you there. I see you breaking. I hear you cry and I know the tears fall like rain when no one is looking. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to hurt more than you’ve ever hurt before. I’m so sorry this is the hand you’ve been dealt, it’s not fair. You are carrying the world on your shoulders and your back is getting tired. You have kids and now you have to be dad and mom, but no one can replace mom. You don’t have kids and now you wish you had that little version of her running around just so you could hold onto her longer.
Everything I talk about in my writing is for men and women, the widowed, the bereaved parents, anyone who knows this pain… but only 8% of my readers are men. Men are coping differently, finding other resources I suppose, maybe no resources at all. Maybe it’s because I call my blog Mommy Is A Widow, and men are not mommies. I don’t know what it is but I want you to know that I get it. I know the pain. Your challenge is different but your pain is the same. I hope that if nothing else, this can bring just a tiny bit of comfort to you. You are always welcome here.