My husband and I had shared many plans, many dreams… we had so many things we looked forward to doing in our future together. But the future is not set in stone. And that future is something you can plan and hope and want, but it is never guaranteed. Our future together came to a […]
Parenting is the hardest job in the world. So much rides on everything you do, every decision you make, and even who you are. The future of the tiny humans who call you mom or dad rests on your shoulders. The pressure is insurmountable. Widowed parents know the stress and anxiety of parenting better than […]
I know you are out there but no one seems to be reaching out to you. Left out in the cold as everyone huddles around the wives who have lost their husbands… but what about the husbands who had to say goodbye to their wives? You are men and so the world expects you to […]
They say that time heals all wounds. They think that there is a time table, that you allot a certain amount of time to grieve and then you get over it, pick yourself up, and move on. But the truth is that grieving deep loss is much messier than that. How easy would it be […]
It’s been a while since I’ve actually sat down and written anything. Too long, really. I am coming up on two years since the night I lost my husband, two years since the night when everything changed. I was at home with our thirteen month old daughter waiting for my husband to come home with […]
As I lay here tonight on my lonely bed, I can’t help but think about where I am now. The holidays have come and gone and the new year has begun, but where am I? It’s a brand new year, another of many that my husband, Matt, will never see, and I wish I could muster […]
Self Awareness and the acceptance that bad things happen – and that’s OK. Ever since I can remember, I have taken it upon myself to always be the happy one. Always happy, always cheerful, always bright and bubbly. This has been a role that, for whatever reason, I had taken upon myself and then lived […]
This year, I resolve to prioritize the fucks that I give. I will give fewer fucks about the things that don’t matter so that I can give a fuck about the things that do.
Christmas used to be my favorite holiday. I loved the music, I loved the lights and decorations, and I loved what Christmas represented to me. The holidays were all about family and being with the ones you love. Now, the holidays are still about being with the ones you love… and this is why they […]
A letter to my husband on the day I moved out of the home we shared together and into a house that he will never come home to.